How I Help Build Resilience: Learning Strength from our Scars

2020-2021. It’s been an uncharacteristically testing time for our resilience.

The pandemic has been the overriding event of the century, and one that has challenged our very human nature at its core. We are social creatures and the ability to be social has been taken away from us. We have been told to work from home, not meet our friends and family, self-isolate when we feel sick (or for one of many other rules or reasons).

Loneliness has become a real and tangible issue for many. Phone and Zoom calls alleviate the monotony, but they never replicate the connection we experience when we meet people. There is an invisible sharing of more than words. Our bodies pheromones interact and we share emotions on an undetectable level that just isn’t the same when we talk remotely.

And there’s time. Time to just ‘be’ together, in the moments between the words and gestures. Time that doesn’t have a ‘sorry, must dash, got another call coming in.’ Time that makes you feel more connected, not less. Time that feels light, not heavy and oppressive.

Many people have lost their jobs during this global crisis, some their lives. Some don’t know where the money will come from to feed the family, to pay the rent. Suicide rates are going up as are the death rates from non-covid related diseases which have been going untreated. People are at a loss for what to do next, where to turn next.

The world is going to give you beauty, but it will also give you pain. The greatest lesson you will ever learn is, that too is a gift.

The Strength in our Scars
Bianca Sparacino

But it’s not just major life events such as these that call on our inner reserves, test our patience and push the boundaries of our resilience.

As I have done for 20+ years, running a business has been one of the most challenging and rewarding things I have been involved in. Events crop up, and it’s the unexpected ones that often knock us sideways. But how we deal with them, how we draw on our own inner well of resilience, shapes our character and makes us stronger.

In my early days, just getting my head around accounting principles made me feel my head wanted to cave in, but this seems like daily noise now as the challenges escalated. Employment rules, legal matters, running out of cash, confrontations and toxic people, vandalism, a stroke, burnout and stress. There always seems to be a bigger challenge around the corner but, as they say, the universe wouldn’t send you them if you couldn’t handle it.

I felt like the guy at the circus spinning a hundred plates, but in the dark with a blindfold on and somebody else in the room trying to knock them over!

Then there are the personal issues. My mother passed away four years ago and my father passed this year as well as a close friend of mine around the same time. It affected me deeply. I comfort myself knowing others have gone through this and come out the other side, so it’s OK to feel.

I have learned strategies for not just dealing with, but getting ahead of challenges arising from difficult people to business management, to the death of loved ones, burnout and more. I use a blend of practical and spiritual techniques depending on the situation, and I share these strategies with my clients.

It’s like taking off the blindfold, switching on the lights, choosing only the plates that need to be spun and kicking that other guy out of the room. And that guy can simply be the voice in your head.

So, if you are facing any of these issues and need help finding the solutions feel free to reach out and we can have a conversation. I look forward to hearing from you.

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