Dr Robert Glover has dubbed the “Nice Guy Syndrome” trying too hard to please others while neglecting one’s own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. It’s no wonder that unfulfilled Nice Guys lash out in frustration at their loved ones, claims Dr Glover. He explains how they can stop seeking approval and start getting what they want in life, by presenting the information and tools to help them ensure their needs are met, to express their emotions, to have a satisfying sex life, to embrace their masculinity and form meaningful relationships with other men, and to live up to their creative potential.
Well, based on the evidence presented in this book, I have been a Nice Guy for much of my adult life. Not everything applies, but enough to tip the scales in favour of appreciating this work and the strategies needed to overcome the Nice Guy Syndrome which is founded in early life experiences.
Interestingly, some of the personal development books I have been reading, which are centred more on performance and business skills, have also suggested that a lot of our limiting beliefs around success and money are conditioned into us in our early lives through the people around us whose main goal is to protect us. These protection mechanisms tend to be overcompensated and prevent us from being the best we can be. One result is becoming the Nice Guy.
As I delve deeper into self-awareness about business, I realise we also need greater self-awareness about self, our foundation years, and (as Bob Proctor addresses) our paradigms of behaviour. This cuts across many other areas from communication to relationships to business and more.
This is the first book I have found that seems to hit the nail on the head more directly and how and why we develop Nice Guy Syndrome, along with the multitude of symptoms of this condition and how to address them. It’s enlightening and helpful, so if you’re asking yourself “why am I not as successful (in any area of your life) that I would like to be?” you need to start reading books such as this one which get to the root causes of *why* we are who we are.