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Book Reviews

The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse

The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse Book Cover
The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse Psychology Safe Place Publishing Audiobook 6h 42m Audible

The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused. These people are well-liked; they are often the pillars of the community. Parents, spouses, bosses, and friends who are covert narcissists come across as the nicest people. They can be spiritual leaders, they are moms who bring over casseroles to needy people, they are the bosses who everyone loves and feels so lucky to work for. These relationships are incredibly confusing and damaging. They leave you questioning your own sanity and reality. Even though they are treating you terribly, you wonder if you are the problem, if you are the one to blame. You are filled with constant self-doubt when it comes to these people in your life. When you are around them, you feel confused and muddled inside. You have a hard time seeing clearly. These relationships can bring you to a state of deep depression and complete depletion of energy. You may wonder if you will ever see clearly and heal from these destructive and debilitating relationships. This audiobook will give you hope that you can heal and feel alive again, or maybe for the first time. You will learn what the traits of a covert narcissist are, as well as how they control and manipulate. Your eyes will open, and your experience will be validated. You will also learn ways to heal and actually enjoy life again. Debbie Mirza uses decades of her own experience with covert narcissists as well as her years of practice as a life coach who specializes in helping people recover and heal from these types of relationships.


Although this book looks specifically at covert narcissism (there are multiple types of Narcissistic Personality Disorder), Debbie covers enough ground to discuss other aspects of other narcissistic styles. The book provides a greater depth of understanding and insight into the condition overall as well as the often unseen trauma it can cause to the victims, and how said recipients of the abuse can face up to the narcissist and heal after they go no contact.

Debbie uses very affirmative language which helps you understand that she is somebody with great knowledge of this condition, genuinely wants the best for you and helps you believe in yourself again. She speaks from her heart and you feel she has been through what she’s talking about. I recommend this book whether you suspect you are dealing with any form of narcissism in your life from your boss to your siblings to your colleagues to your partner to your family.

I was inspired by her writing here that I bought another of her books The Safest Place Possible.

We live in one of three states as Brendon Burchard says - caged, comfortable or charged - often one of the first two. But we aspire to a better life, a more charged life, one where we don’t feel trapped or stuck in a rut (yet comfortable), one where we don’t compromise and live a charged life. My purpose is to help you find your charge. I post updates about my own journey here and if you have any questions or would like any support, feel free to contact me or connect with me on any of the social networks.

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